Tired

So tired..feeling myself heavier, clumsier..and fatter..At this stage, I really dread to take photos…even when I bump into friends, I feel quite paiseh also…cos I loss my confidence. My once sharp face (during wed) is gone, and not to say the just nice waist, hips etc..I just pray hard I get back to shape after I have given birth. When I went shopping last Fri at Far East, I felt so embarrassing walking into stores, cos their clothes are all very tight fitting and its impossible that a preggy can fit in..thought of getting an elastic dress for new year, but cant find any at all. Its not worth buying maternity dress also, cos its just another one or two months more to go.

Breast feeding, yes I must do that, not only it can helps me to slim down, it can also provide the nutrients my baby need. Learn many things from Mrs Wong from tmc last Sunday, I really pay full attention, jotting down notes etc. Really wan to try letting baby to latch on instead of bottle feeding at least for the first month, but that also means I have to stay with my baby 24 hrs round the clock and I cant go anywhere I like. Not sure if it will be successful, but I will try.

I am now coming to 31 weeks, and one more month later, my baby is fully grown at 36 weeks…and at around first or second week of Mar, my baby be out…getting more and more nervous. Now waiting for my colleague Jocelyn to go for delivery first….after that will be Christine and my turn..Who first? Lets see, best if we can share the room together..haaaa..

My backache continues, and even more ache at the leg etc…I got to stop and rest for three times when I’m shopping…I really can’t walk for long now..Terrible.

I have yet to wash my baby’s clothes…and I have not packed my hospital bag..oh dear, these are my priority task for this week. Must do Must do.

Oh its fri...tmr. :(

Was looking fwd to Fri, cos my hb finally finish his two papers, and yeah, we can go shopping for bb's stuffs.

But, my mood was affected after my hb told me his mum would like to join us....I really dont like the idea of three of us going shopping together..i felt so weird. I really prefer the courtship feeling...and I dont understand y his mum wants to tag along. Hb ask me if im okie, of course i mus say okie...even if im not okie..i cant make thgs difficult for him isnt it. Usually his mum will hv pgms of her own, like mahjong etc, but when she is really bored, she will ask his son to go where n where...i know i shouldnt feel unhapi over tht, but i am really not looking fwd to tmr....in fact, i dont feel like talking to him even now...i cant show him my unhappiness, cos i cant let him know im not happy over this. I never like him being a mommy boy...n sometimes his mum also not automatic..when shes lonely, she dont look for her husband..yet she looks for her son. I know hes in a difficult position also..

In future, theres more of such thgs, cos when bb is out, her mum is going to move in with us at least during wkdays...to take care of my bb, but, i thk i be the odd one out next time...when bb is asleep, mebi i shld immerse in msn just like last time...or mebi blog more..smtimes i really hope my mum is the one taking care of my bb for me..at least im more familar with her...I jus hv to endure..

My latest medical apt

I just had a medical check up and the diabetic test as advised by my gyne.

Gyne first have a scan at my lovely princess, guess its still early morning, so she didnt move as much as previous time, only scratching her head. Her position seems to be slowly moving downwards preparing for delivery. Baby weighs 1.22kg, at this stage (28 weeks), average weight should be 1-1.2kg, so bb is overweight by 200gms. Still okie, not a lot... but mummy's weight increase by 2kg for over 3 weeks, but baby only absorbs 500gms. So it means all the weight I gained will remain in my body...its me who gain the weight. Gyne once again warned me, if I dont control my food well, these fats and weight will remains with me even I given birth. Haiz, sad sia. If not Im pregnant, I wont be putting on so much weight so rapidly...I wonder how to remove these fats after I given birth. Its so hard to control the food intakes, esp during this festive season...and the thing is I get hungry very easily also. Last year around the same period, I didnt eat a lot bec I need to take my wedding pictures soon, this year I thought I can enjoy, but bec of the weight consciouness, I got to control again...haiz...thts hard leh.

Baby feet is 5cm long, gyne say that thats quite long.
Other than that, I didnt managed to see a lot of the baby, cos baby face was a bit blocked....a bit disappointed.

I went for the diabetic test as advised by the gyne. The nurse first make me drink a bottle of orange juice within 5mins, then she draw the first tube of blood from me. Subsequently, she make me come back one hr later for two times, to get my urine samples and draw blood. So total, I got to draw 3 tube of bloods and collect 3 bottles of urine samples. Its not hard drawing blood, just that i cant have any food or drinks during this period of time till 11.30am. Thats really tough for a preggy, u know...and without having any food intakes, the orange juice(a bit gasy) that they make me drink early morning really almost make me puke. If I vomit during the process, this test will fail and I got to retake another day. I was enduring..and its suffering without any food ...

Anyway, the test results is fine, no diabetic...so everything is okie..lucky.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year everyone.

Its the begining of a new year. To me and hubby, 2009 shall be a special and memorable year and everything will be different from this year onwards.

We are awaiting the born of our little princess in Mar. With the addition of a new family member and us with new roles in life, we be expecting a lot of changes. Like it or not, we just have to adapt to it. No more freedom, we cant do things as we like, we have to spare a thought for our little princess whatever we do, even if its the purchase of some items, cos everything involves money. We cant go holiday as we like and we cant go dinner anytime we want. Although there will be a lot of sacrifices, we know it be worth it cos its all for the sake of our princess.

Parents are like that isnt it? We will never understand till we become parents ourselves. Hope to seek the understanding of my frens that I might not be available for every gathering. Even for now, its also hard for me to go out everytime, bec everytime I go out, I need to plan a convenient journey, if not at my present condition, I cant join in the queue for taxis, and neither can I join the crowd in trains or mrt....that is the reason why I always prefer to meet at some where near, such as Jurong point..haaa...hope my fren understand. Now coming to the third trimester, Im getting lazier and lazier, sometimes after I lie on the bed, I really dont have the energy to get up, and I always feel pain at the lower back...its getting terrible day by day. Frens, ps pardon me.

My new year resolution is that everyone in my family will be in good health and happy. Both my hubby's career and mine will be smooth sailing. Very importantly is that I have a smooth delivery and my baby is healthy.

All the best to everyone in 2009.

Xmas 2008

I had a xmas party with my family this year. The very first time I had it at my new house. Both my family members and my hubby's family are here. I have been looking forward to that for very long, it was fun and enjoyable but very busy and tiring.

After a long day, we still got to clear up the house...esp tiring for a preggy like me..haaa..
But its still worthwhile, cos I believed everyone enjoy it. And my gdma came, she is a rare visitor okie..haaaa...

I have been feeling the kicks of the baby more vigourously since I reached 6 mth of my pregnancy process. 3 more months to go. The feeling is really very amazing. Now even my hubby can see and feel the kicks of the baby. If you focused your attention, you can see some movements at the tummy. Not only that, my tummy is now very obvious. Sometimes when I am in the train, I get a seat offer from others. But that is not always, very often, no one give up their seat for me, not because they didnt see, but I guess some sporean just wana act blur. This is esp for teenagers and aunties. For those who are so helpful to give up their seats, I really want to thank them. Few days ago, a guy who is standing saw me standing right in front of the priority seat yet no one offers their seats to me. He politely ask if I need a seat although he himself is standing. I believed if I were to say yes, he immediately will ask someone to give up their seat for me. I replied him "its okie", because I do not want to trouble him. But hes really very helpful.

Looking at the preggie club in my dept, Alison is the first to gave birth on Dec 24. Congratulations Kevin and Alison. So happy for them. So the next will be Jocelyn on Feb. Then follow by Janice, Christine and me in Mar.

Looking forward to my next medical apt. Bb is kicking me now again....haaaa..

My medical apt

Finally I reach my medical apt day. I can see my baby and know how is she doing again. That is my only motivation now and I am always looking forward to my monthly apt.

Hubby was late today, so I make my way to tmc myself despite the rain and the lightning. I am so used to be chauffer around since Im pregnant that I am feeling a bit uneasy when I got to travel to another place by bus and esp in the rain. I was a bit angry with my hb for being late...but was appease after a while . He was held up in a meeting and has try his best to rush over. He promised that he really wanted to see our baby. During my journey to tmc, I even talk to my bb telling her where we be going and not to scare despite the rain, mummy will be with her.

As usual, Dr Chan did a scanning for my bb and jokingly say that "still a girl", cos she knew we done a lot of shopping and all girl's stuffs. I was thinking "phew"..haaaa.....since I already knew its a girl, dont wish to have any changes.

Baby is so cute, she kept munching on something,the mouth kept open and close open and close. I ask Dr Chan, what is she eating, she say the baby is drinking water, drinking its own urine then recycle again lor.haaaaaa Thats funny. Besides, the baby is also kicking and kicking, I can see the aggressive movements of her legs, kicking non stop. Like practicising marshal arts. Dr also check the lips and everything is fine. The eyes is also forming and dr say the eyes will usually open at week 24, which is about time already. From the scan, dr vaguely mentioned "thk the eyes also small", then I'm thinking, oh ah, why not like me, why everything also small. But dr say its too early to tell also. Lets just hope the eyes is big like mine. Cos my hubby's eyes is small.

Baby is again overweight, mummy also has an rapid increase of weight. I am now about 61kg+. I have an increase of about 5kg for just two months. That is the main reason why I am having lower backache now, cos I am not the very big size kind, and yet the weight increase is too fast for me to take it. that is why its causing the discomfort. And baby is 740+gms. Average bb is supposed to be only 600gms at this stage. The baby's leg is also bigger than average. The baby is long, we so call tall. From what I heard from the doc over the last and this apt, I have a feeling that this baby resembles his daddy a lot. From the scan, I can see that the baby is now like a doll, having a round and big face (ah for this she looks like me), she looks pretty chubby from the scan.

Now, doc is worried that I have gestational diabeties and suggest me for a diabetic test three weeks later. Besides, as the baby is really bigger than average, she believed that the baby might have to arrive earlier than planned. So it might be push to first half of Mar 09 instead of end of Mar 09. If the pain comes naturally, its great, if not, then have to use manually way, which is induce. Once the baby reach 3.5kg, have to get her out. She is also trying to avoid C-Section for me, and me myself also do not want that to happen. I want to give birth naturally, so that I can see myself when the baby is out and I want to have a feel how is the process of giving birth naturally. My hb going for resvc in beg of Mar, doc worried it might clash. Hence, she wrote a letter for him, hoping for a deferment or skip for this round. She say I will definitely need him to be around during that critical period.

Now, really looking forward to my next apt. Baby is still kicking aggressively, she has been doing that since last night and this morning since I woke up. Yesterday my hb put his hand on my tummy and this is the very first time that he felt the movements of the baby. I was even praising the baby, good job.haaaa. Hb smile sweetly when he felt the movements of the bb for the very first time in life. I can even see the slight movements on my tummy when the baby is kicking. The feeling is simply amazing.

Bad mood swings

Had very bad mood swing recently....it often ends up in tears. I noticed that, but I don't understand why. I get easily upset by things that I do not wish to hear. Could it be the hormones creating the problem?

I was upset over my hubby's suggestion that my mil would like to come over to our house on Mon (Public Holiday), which means we got to stick at home the whole day. It's a public holiday u know. Prior to that, I suggested to my hubby to stay at home since he got projects to do. I was worried he cant finish by the due date in Jan. But it was he himself who mentioned that it's not a problem to go out since he's not one who can stick to the pc the whole day. So i don't understand why he wan to suggest that. I thought we can go out on that day to do some baby shopping....but obviously he forgotten what he mentioned just a day ago. He explained that it is a mere suggestion for discussion and I can always reject him. But the thing is, I'm upset over his suggestion.

As an only child, I feel his rship with his mum is very close. And this often adds a lot of stress to myself. I know he tried to balance his rship with his mum and me...but I often feel his mum need a lot of attention from him.

Yesterday, I heard that my mil a bit hesitates in looking after my bb when I told him that the thought of us staying together in future makes me very uncomfortable. I always thoughtthat she likes to take care of our bb and I dont wana deprive her of the chance. But I knew shes an outgoing person, I have my worries if shes suitable to take care of my bb also. When I hear that yesterday, I was shocked, worried that who will take care my bb for us. Why back off at this point in time. He say my mil is worried she cant cope. But if really no one looking after for us, she will still help us. He suggest us to stick to our plan for her to try out during my maternity period. So I made slight changes and want her to test out during the first month and let us know if shes okie a not, if not, let us know early instead of till the very last mth before i go back to work. I was thinking at the most, if i cant find a nanny for my bb, I take NPL to look after myself. I tell myself, I must learn the ropes for taking care of a bb, and I will do it all by myself. Afterall shes my bb and I have to be strong and learn. I am confident that I can do it.