Updates

Mummy weigh at 69.6kg last week and 69.8kg this week...it drops then rise by a bit.

Talking about last week check up, bb looks fine, fluid level is okie, weight is okie, only concern is my weight seems to drop, so have to monitor closely..doc gave me another 5 more days before the next check up to see hows baby progress. She seems to be worried when I say bb movements dont seem to be great as before.

Yesterday, i was scheduled for a check up again, and she made a decision.
BB is now almost 3.3kg. I had a ctg scan again, bb heartbeat is okie, I know that she is having hicups when she was being monitored...even the nurse can tell, shes very active during the scan, cos i can sense that shes moving n moving. But my abdomen also continues to tighten n tighten during the scan. When the report is out, doc saw the contractions is pretty strong, but she ask if i hv any pain, and is suprised that I have no pain at all. Perhpas its still not the real contraction yet. She checked for my dialation, omg, its so painful, i didint expect it to be that painful.....bb is half engaged...i can see the hair and the ear from the scan. Bb fluid is running low...now is about 50 plus..it has dropped from 90plus to 50plus..anything below 50 need immediate attention. Hence, she made a decision for me. Meanwhile, she wants me to closely monitor the movement of the baby, once I sense something wrong, i have to admit immediately.

Its really scary n nervous indeed...now i took mc to rest at home till i deliver..
Thinking of the delivery process really make me scared..hubby say he be with me..I will be strong for my ger...n him...Its a process all women goes through in their life, and Im sure I can do it too....

I feel that my sister and my mum always think that Im childish, ask silly questions...and very stingy..but i feel that they dont understand me..why should we be so conscious even when talking to our own family members...they feel that I never think before I talk..but if i find theres a need to ask certain question to make myself fully prepared, I will ask, if i know i dont need to ask, but they feel thats very silly question..They always looks down on me...they didnt know they are destroying my confidence level. I never have problem communicating with my colleagues..we all have the same frequency..and they never ever find that the question i ask is silly. I had a quarrel with my mum last night over the phone..shes lecturing me, yet she said she is not..she always say one and yet say she dont mean that. I was very upset after the conversation with her..i ask my hb if im in any wrong..he say i am not, and he want me not to be affected by what others say, and to be confidence in myself. I feel that my mum and sis are all the same, they dont understand me...only my gdma is..she dotes me, and she show her concern to me and she sides me too. However, shes a very sensitive person, so nowsdays i have to be careful when i talk to her also, cos theres something she will feel upset after hearing that, shes easily affected..so i have to think before i say..smtimes i even hv to tell white lies. My mil wanted so much to pick bb up when she is discharged, but i also wanted my mum to come along..after the quarrel, i think i shall not insist..she might be busy looking after my sis kids afterall. It really upsets me.

Weekly affair

Now medical apts become a weekly affair..an important event that I looked forward to.

Bb Olivia is now 2.97kg. Mummy is 69.7kg.

Im suprised that I didnt increase a lot of weight over the week...and im a bit disappointed that bb didnt gained much weight either. Her growth seems to slow down. That is why, Dr Chan ask me to do a ctg scanning yesterday before seeing her...just to ensure bb heart beat is okie..and she is fine.
Through the ctg scanning..she also detected that I have mild contractions already..they call it tightening of adomen but I cant feel anything actually...so still fine..not verge of delivering..

to be continue....daddy is picking me up now...6.31pm (office)

My bp continues to climb...so doc might resort to inducing the baby instead of waiting for the bb to come out naturally...that means I might have one or maximum two weekends to go...I hopes bb wait till daddy finish his reservice first...I will have to stay at my mum place from mon to wed, cos daddy going outbound field and wont be coming home. I hope bb dont come out in these few days...so long never sleep at my mum place, not sure if i can still sleep well there. Need my dad to send me to work next week..however, i got to make my way home myself..thinking of the bus trip makes me terrible...taking cab during peak hours is too expensive..and still got to queue up...sianz...

I enjoyed myself with dear today..just in case its my last weekend before bb is out.. Cos once bb is out..i supposed i wont be having that much freedom, and i hv to be confined at home for a very long period of time. We went for tim sum breakfast cum lunch at tahman jurong(superbowl area), suprisingly, the tim sum tastes very nice...thereafter, we have a look at the Caspian's showroom out of curiousity..we wondered why is it so popular..dear is very keen, however, dont think its the right time for us to enter the market yet...cos we just bought our executive flat.

Subsequently, we went bugis junction to shop around. And also to pray at bugis temple.

Its a long day for us..but very enjoying.

Had a short conversation with my sis over the phone, however it ended unpleasantly as usual. I dont understand why is it that we can never communicate well. We went merchant court for buffet dinner together last week and my hb paid for it in advance. It was agreed that we went on dutch, and we spilt the costs for our parents who came along. But when it comes to settling the bill after a week time, she asked, y cant I treat her instead...I dont understand y should I since that is the agreed method of settling the bil in the first place..it isnt very cheap either...so she began to criticse me for being very NIAO...hinting that I do not know how to zhuo ren..and continue saying that she has given me so many things, even some baby's gifts where her friends gave it to her but she dont even bear to let her child wear..yet she gave it to me..etc..omg, from what i can remember, theres only two gift box and some blankets which i not sure how new is it, but i didnt force her to give me, i didnt demand for it either..and anyway there isntn a lot of new things also..most of it are old clothes pass down from her son who is now 9 mths old But she just wana claim credit for it..and put all the blame on me.I really cannot stand her. When she was pregnant, she scolded me whenever we argue..i kept quiet..bec i dont wan to agitate her..i suffer in silence and i cry in the room..but when im pregnant, she never ever give way to me, she just continues to agitate me..and even quarrel with me just like wat happen just now. She always thk she is right and Im wrong...im forever being step by her....In fact, i didnt forget what happen a few weeks ago, when i told my mum i need to stay at her house during my 2nd and third mth of materntiy leave..i just need her to be around just in case, cos i cant stay at home alone with my baby, cos im not familar and good at taking care of bb yet...but sis is unhappy,tho she never tell me direct, she afraid that i might overload her maid. But i already repeated myself many times, i will do everything myself...okie,i admit indirectly i mght affect her..so i already promised to give her some token of appreciation as requested by my sis..so as to make the maid feel better.wats more does she want...but i know she is stil unhappy, cos i sort of overheard her conversation with my mum when my mum wana side with me. I cannot imagine how selfish she is...tho she always claim to be very helpful and good to me...she shld know that its difficult for me to manage alone at home myself..yet she is still very reluctant for me to move back home. She even have a suggestion for her mother in law to stay at her house to look after her kids (meaning, she move her kids back home from my mum's place)...isnt that an obvious sign of selfishness. I cant blame her, cos when it comes to own kids, everyone is selfish. Its just that I didnt know that the same goes for sliblings..n its so contrast from the image she been potraying all the while. Yet now, she still wan to contiue claiming credit for a lot of things..she wan me to feel indebted to her...but i dont want to. Its not that I cant afford to buy my bb stuff..y shld i depend on her..its her who wana pass me the stuffs willigly.

Really very upset...one day when im not around, will she ever regret what she has been doing to me. Or perhaps, she still think she is always right..and im still forever wrong..Im always seen as very silly in her eyes...now and forever..